You Don’t Want A Relationship

“What you want is already available to you now. It always has been.”

I have been bingeing Kristina Licare’s work lately (if you haven’t heard of her, look her up)! She is ON POINT and taking me to new realms of love and fullness in my life. This morning I was listening to her latest podcast episode. In that episode, she said something along the lines of, “You don’t want a relationship because of the relationship, you want it because of who you think you’ll be when you have it”. Ok, so those weren’t her exact words but that’s how I took it… and it got me thinking about one of the major things I did to BE the woman I needed to be to call in my love.

I’ll start by saying she’s right… You don’t want the relationship because of the relationship itself. The desire for a relationship comes from the love, joy, happiness, and connection you believe you’ll attain in the having of that relationship. And the relationship you desire isn’t desired for all those things necessarily, it is desired because of how (or who) you think you’ll be in the relationship. So, it’s not the relationship itself, but the way you desire to FEEL and BE in the relationship.

And if you read anything on manifestation, you’ll know that you need to “act as if” you already have it in order to manifest it (‘it’ being whatever it is you’re wanting to manifest). Or in other words, BE that version of you who already has it. Because it’s not so much “acting as if” but becoming an embodiment of the person who has it energetically. Embodying the energy first.

So… how?

Well, the simple answer is, who would you be if you already had it? Be that.

But if you’re like me, you may need some clearer, actionable steps to truly embody that. So… what did I do when I was intentionally calling in my love?

Well, multiple things!! You can learn about them ALL and bring to life your own love story in My Manifestation Of You, but on the topic of this blog post in particular…

I gave myself all the things I desired from the loving relationship I wanted in my life. I wrote down what I desired to FEEL in the having of this relationship, including love, connection, pleasure, sensual touch, play, adventure, safety, and security.

Then… I gave it all to myself physically so I felt it emotionally and became it energetically.

It’s your energy that attracts the people and things in your life.

What do I mean? Ok, let’s explore this.

I didn’t want the relationship as such. What I actually wanted was to feel love and connection. So, each night I would hold myself, put my hand on my heart, and connect with myself. I would be with every part of me that was feeling any heavy emotion, including sadness or hurt, without judgement, and I would connect with them and love on them FROM my Self (my higher self). With this practice, I became a loving and grounded presence for every part of me (my inner masculine held my feminine). I became incredibly connected to myself and my body and I felt deep acceptance within myself, for exactly how I was in each moment, even deep in heavy emotion. I held myself in all of it. I became the embodiment of love and connection. The man I called in then also became this for me. He is my grounded masculine presence. An amplification of the love and connection I had already cultivated within myself.

I also wanted to be touched and feel pleasure through sensual touch. So, again, each night I would run my hands lightly over my arms and up my neck, down my legs, and over my belly. I touched myself as if it were a lover exploring my body and touching me sensually. I felt ALL of it, deep in presence and awe. I felt like a goddess who deserved nothing less than someone who worshipped her and respected her body. I became magnetic in that energy. The man I called in calls me his goddess and touches me in the same way. I feel deeply loved and safe with him.

I wanted to play, so I would dance around my house and do cartwheels by myself at the beach. I didn’t care because I was just enjoying the fullness of life, with or without a partner in my life. I felt how I wanted to feel and made my own fun. The man I called in is just as playful (and is incredibly playful with my kids!).

I desired to feel safe and secure, so I let go of attachment to having a man in my life and became my own rock. I found my power, I found harmony within, between my own masculine and feminine energies. I released the emotions that were charging my insecurities. There I found security. I felt safe within myself first. And now, he is also my safe space.

I was (or am) a free-flowing, playful, deeply connected goddess living my fulfilled life. I became an energetic match for what I desired in my life.

And the best part… because I already had it all, I detached from needing it. It was already there. That’s when we met.

He is an amplification of the energy I embodied BEFORE we met. You can choose which like energies you wish to attract. Like attracts like.

There is a reason I have a ‘magic’ tattoo with two stars on my heart ✨

Here’s the main message today…

What you want is already available to you now. It always has been.

Yes, I had to release some emotion before I could BE in this state. Yes, I had to be brave enough to realise the ways in which I was unconsciously sabotaging my life and relationships and let it all go. I had to take radical responsibility and reclaim my MF POWER.

Even still, it IS all available to you now. It can be easier than it sounds. You just have to be open and willing to explore outside of your usual walking tracks to see the beauty beyond the paths you’ve walked before… what you currently know to be true.

The love you seek is not out there… it’s in YOU… that other person only amplifies the love you cultivate within yourself first (as does the rest of your life).

 Make your own magic, beautiful x

If you’re ready to connect to your heart and become the love you desire, My Manifestation Of You is currently on presale!