4 Powerful Tips: How To Drop Fear & Trust Your Intuition
I let fear take the lead… momentarily.
I’ve just spent a beautiful two nights away in a beautiful bus-setup Airbnb under huge gum trees in Margaret River, WA, with my love for our baby moon, approximately 2 weeks before bub is due to arrive. It was magical beyond words, we connected deeply, fell into each other's presence, had beautiful conversations, so many laughs, and even tried painting for a bit of fun and something different.
At the time, I fell into each moment, moment by moment, and felt deep gratitude to be in the position to spend this time away with just my love as we probably won’t be able to do it again for some time. It was truly special.
On the final morning, we had a bath together looking out at the trees from the big bathroom window, and then packed up ready to check out.
Before we left, I noticed some things happening with my body. If you haven’t been pregnant before or don’t know much about pregnancy, some parts aren’t so glamorous, such as this…
We have what’s called a mucus plug which blocks the cervix from infection, protecting the baby while in the womb. In the final weeks, that plug releases as the cervix softens, preparing for labour. It doesn’t mean labour is imminent, but it means it could happen anywhere from a few hours to a couple of weeks ahead of time.
On the final morning, I lost my mucus plug, and I found myself slowly starting to feel low in energy, somewhat unwell, and felt slight period-like cramps and some lower back pain. As a result, not remembering what the final stages were like in my last pregnancies, I found myself on good old Google searching for some sort of clarity… was labour imminent? Down the rabbit hole I went.
I messaged our midwife, who is so beautifully aligned with us and our wishes for an all-natural, physiological, intervention-free homebirth but she was off for the weekend, so she forwarded our message to our backup midwife. She didn’t get back to us for the entire day, leaving me at the mercy of my thoughts and returning to Google for answers.
Up until this point, I had felt empowered and ready for labour but because I felt so off, and because I jumped on Google for answers (oops), I let some fear set in.
On Google, there is so much conflicting information, and our brain always takes in what we’re looking for. AS WELL, the system is designed to instill fear in women, leading them away from entrusting their bodies' natural and powerful ability to birth babies.
The same goes for all people and their health. Our body has an incredible ability to heal from most (if not all) ailments, but we are conditioned to trust medical professionals (who often do not know us from a bar of soap) over trusting ourselves, leaving us believing there is no way out except pharmaceutical medications which at the end of the day, can wreak further havoc on your body. This coming from a person who has been there and ended up healing her autoimmune and chronic anxiety through releasing emotions [Read You Don’t Have Anxiety & Becoming Her for these stories]!
When I was pregnant with my second boy, I was not in a place of trusting myself over medical professionals. I had my obstetrician tell me that my baby was measuring big and that we should perform a stretch and sweep, which is an intervention designed to bring on labour. Without knowing how to connect to my own body's wisdom back then, and still living primarily in fear, I said ok.
I went into labour that day and when my baby boy arrived, I could tell he wasn’t quite ready to be here yet. He cried… a lot. I honestly believe that’s why he has been, to this day, incredibly clingy to me, always needing to be touched or held. And to make it worse, he weighed only 5-pound 9oz when he was born. He was so little!
The good news is that he is happy and healthy, and as a mother learned a valuable lesson. To TRUST myself over anyone else, especially leading into this pregnancy and birth.
So, back to my initial story. The midwife texted me back that night and told me that these things don’t necessarily mean labour is imminent. Throughout the night I experienced more cramping which kept me awake for part of the night. The next morning, I felt quite uncomfortable again and slightly unwell. I knew the midwife was calling around at midday to drop off some suitcases full of supplies ready for the home birth, so I waited until she was there to ask the next question.
I noticed my baby’s movements had slowed down and I wasn’t feeling as much that morning, and with another search on Google, I felt even more unease. Everything I read was negative and instilled more fear.
When the midwife arrived, who was not our regular midwife, I asked her for her thoughts on the slower movements. Due to their “policy”, she had to recommend I go with her to the hospital to be monitored. I asked her if I should be concerned, which of course she couldn’t say and again recommended I go to the hospital. A part of me wanted to go, which was the part of me in fear, but another part was extremely hesitant with my understanding of the maternity system and, as I now reflect, a deeper knowing. I pulled back and she said I could text her later if I felt the need to go.
That’s when I chose again. I thought to myself, “I know the answer to this, my body knows the answer, I just need to strip back the fear and reconnect with my Self to access that inner knowing”. So, I said to Matt that I was going to the beach to clear some energy and ground myself.
I walked to the beach, sat by the shoreline, closed my eyes, and allowed Mother Nature to embrace us (me and baby) and as I did, I felt a sense of safety. I started stripping back the outside noise, that is, the information from the midwife and Google, and I came back to myself.
I soon realised the truth was, without all that outside noise clouding my judgment, I felt safe, I felt good, I felt empowered, and I knew that bub and I were ok.
As soon as I released that fear and came back to myself, bub started moving around in my belly as he or she would normally. Truthfully, I believe it was the stress that I was feeling in my body that had my baby not moving as much.
If I’d gone to the hospital and had been monitored, who knows what they would have suggested. Any and all intervention, I’m sure, because that’s what feeds the system. That’s where they profit. As I said, the big business of the maternity system is profitable by ensuring women live in fear of birth.
I am not saying that all intervention is “bad”, as sometimes they may be needed, but with the rates of intervention and the control being taken away from women, it certainly is overused and unnecessary the majority of the time. I hear about more women now having traumatic births over the birth they had wished for. And I feel most of it could be avoided had they been taught to trust in their innate power, and if they felt safe in their experience.
When we can come back to ourselves, know, and trust in our bodies’ capabilities, and use our intuition instead of being run by fear, we can direct our lives in beautifully aligned ways that allow us to have the highest outcome for all. This includes both women and their babies but also, in every single action and decision we make in life.
Can we begin to recognise with much more awareness where our choices are being driven by fear, and where we are being driven by our true Self?
It takes conscious intention, conscious awareness, and a commitment to continual self-inquiry.
Because… fear is your mind’s bestie. It doesn’t go away unless you choose to become aware of it and decide to choose again… again and again.
How else could ‘they’ control 90% of the population in 2020-22? Just saying.
It’s so easy to unconsciously let fear take the lead. We let it influence us and then wonder why we end up in undesirable situations in our lives. We even sometimes look back at our experiences and think, “I knew that” or “I had a feeling” but at the time the fear-influenced option is so strong that we went with that, not realising how much power we have to tap into our innate knowing, our intuition, our body’s wisdom.
So, here are my 4 top tips for coming back to Self and your intuitive knowing in the midst of fear.
1. Ground yourself in nature and allow our great mother to hold you. Allow her to transmute any lower vibrational energy, such as fear, and return you to a state of ease. This is always effective so long as you trust and give yourself permission to drop into the body and out of the mind.
2. Consider the noise. Which outside influences have instilled fear in you? These could be recent, or they could date back to childhood and your parent's or society's beliefs, for example. Realise that noise is NOT YOU, it’s your conditioning.
3. Make it a practice to be in your body. Do this by releasing emotion charging your fears (read Becoming Her, see ‘neutralising emotions’) as well as bringing your nervous system back to a state of calm. Tip: Your nervous system responds well to less outside noise, and MORE nurture in the form of grounding, breath, movement, and soft slow touch over your head, arms, or body.
4. Meditate, and take intentional moments of stillness, to reconnect to your Self and build your self-awareness so you can more easily distinguish between what in your life is influenced by fear and what is influenced by love, by Self.
At the end of the day, we are far more powerful and intuitive than what we’ve been led to believe. Our culture conditions us to rely on a system that does not benefit us, our health, nor the highest good of all. The more you can practice coming back to your Self and leading from that place rather than fear being in the driver’s seat, the more joy, peace, ease, and abundance you will create in your life.
Those people you see that you aspire to be like… They’re practicing this exact work… and my belief is that you aspire to be more like them because it’s what your heart and soul are calling for.
Breathe and listen, beautiful.
Tara x
Shout out to Ingrid Kjelling Photography for her magic (yet again)✨
Recommended reads if you’re expecting -
Sacred Birthing by Sunni Karll D.D.
A Mothers Pleasure by Regan Figg
Recommended documentary -
The Business of Being Born
