Free From Fear
“Bypassing is exactly what attracts you what you don’t want, because you’re holding onto that vibrational energy rather than releasing it.”
I have just finished reading the book ‘Ikigai’ by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles. Amazing book and highly recommend it! They speak a lot about longevity and the Blue Zones which is something I’ve been super interested in since my Integrative Nutrition Health Coaching studies four years ago. Longevity is something I may speak about in another post but for now, I wanted to expand on something I read in the book which caught my attention.
I’m going to begin with a quote from the final chapter of the book –
“In order to keep their minds virtuous, the Stoics practiced something like negative visualization: They imagined the worst thing that could happen in order to be prepared if certain privileges and pleasures were taken from them. To practice negative visualization, we have to reflect on negative events, but without worrying about them.”
If you read my last blog post ‘How To Feel Abundant NOW’ you would have read on one of the practices I gave you that I find it powerful to face fear head on and coach myself until I find the root of my fear. This is similar in that way, in that the Stoics able to visualise their fears, without worry, in order to neutralise them.
Most coaches speak about visualisation as a manifesting tool, which can be effective. I wanted to bring some awareness to this as you may be thinking, “but what if I visualise my fear and it manifests?”.
Here’s the thing… what manifests is the energy you embody. If you have fears which are unfelt or charged in your body, that is vibrating out… and you attract back what you put out.
So, it’s actually the opposite… by NOT feeling out or neutralising your fears, you are attracting back like vibrations. It’s actually a POWER MOVE of a conscious creator to approach your fears with love and curiosity, in order to get to the root of the fear (which is generally emotion or “irrationality” (I could argue that nothing is irrational as well, but this is a whole other blog post)).
When I visualised and released my fears around being cheated on, I had a man show up for me like none other before.
When I visualised my fear of running out of money, I realised I’d always be safe and that fear disappeared.
Time and time again I’ve visualised and freed myself from fears to move forward freely without resistance. How else could I have written and shared my three books? It wouldn’t have happened – I had spent 20 years saying I wanted to write but fear always held me back.
When I was launching You Don’t Have Anxiety, I held a workshop that invited people to free themselves from their fears and anxiety by connecting to the emotion behind their fear. Once connected, they could feel it out. Once felt out, it was no longer charging the fear, effectively removing the fear itself. I call this process ‘Neutralising Emotions’.
In this practice, a practice I have used many times to propel myself forward in increments from chronic anxiety to confidence, by removing the fear you can then pursue the things you truly desire in life, from your Higher Self without being driven by fear, which again, if you read my last post, any choices driven by fear can end up having negative consequences, such as my unintentional self-created financial debt. Oops.
I want to leave you with some excerpts from my second book, Becoming Her, which includes the Neutralising Emotions process itself on the second excerpt… because I love you!
Excerpts from Becoming Her –
“By feeling long-held emotions, you are releasing
resistance towards the things that you want. By
influencing emotions, you can magnetise toward you
the things that you desire.
Emotions are what make you a powerful manifestor…
not bypassing the emotion you’re afraid to feel
because you hold the belief it will attract you what
you don’t want.
Bypassing is exactly what attracts you what you don’t
want, because you’re holding onto that vibrational
energy rather than releasing it. Bypassing weakens
your ability to manifest your desired life.”
- Chapter four: Why releasing emotions makes you powerful AF, not weak.
“Neutralising Emotion
All fears and insecurities are surface-level. Behind every fear
is emotion.
Neutralising emotion helps you stand in your power, in
unwavering certainty of yourself and your needs, in trust
and alignment, in your unquestionable truth. By feeling out
that emotion first, you neutralise your emotional state before
entering a situation where you could potentially feel the fear,
the fear of rejection, judgement, abandonment, ridicule, or
whatever it is, arise.
This serves to cultivate that self-acceptance and self-love
before anything goes down. I am not saying expect danger
or expect shit to go down, but if you know you are heavily
triggered by someone that is going to be at a family gathering
you have to go to, or if you have anxiety around a job
interview tomorrow, you can literally play out the fear in
your mind and let go of the emotion that is charging it. That
way, when you show up, it’s neutral, you’re detached, you’re
good babe.
By neutralising your emotions, you’re effectively protecting
your self-worth. When you feel rejected, for example, you
may begin to feel worthless, or it may ignite feelings of not
being good enough. That wound runs deep in most of us.
By neutralising the emotion, the feeling of worthlessness
cannot be ignited, and therefore you remain grounded in
your true worth.
You feel good enough regardless of what happens. Plus, your
detachment actually helps you call in, more effortlessly, the
outcome you desire if, of course, it is meant for you.
Neutralising emotions is a simple process but not always
the easiest. It takes courage to bring up and let go of the
emotions that have been triggering your fears. In my opinion,
it’s a lot easier than continuing to live with fear, as well as
the vibration of the emotion which ultimately attracts the
repeating pattern, such as the pattern of being rejected. And
yes, these things can repeat throughout your life until you
clear them.
In the chapter, Purge and Surge, I talk more about the
different ways we can move emotional energy through our
body but for now, trust how it arises and allow it all to flow.
You choose. It is not your job to judge or label what arises,
just simply allow it.
Neutralising emotions process:
Sit in a comfortable space, a space where you feel safe. Close
your eyes and take a few deep breaths while calming your
body and mind. Begin to visualise the event, situation, or
story you’ve got playing out in your mind.
Visualise what you’re afraid of, whether it’s someone
triggering you, such as by triggering that wound of rejection,
or someone doing something that could emotionally hurt
you. See it play out in your mind and as you do, notice any
sensations that arise in your body.
Can you observe what is happening in your body while you
play out the fear? Is there tightness, warmth, or heaviness in
your body anywhere? Or maybe you can feel emotion already
coming up, maybe you want to cry or scream. Whatever
arises, allow it with no resistance at all. Allow it until you feel
the energy has shifted.
The way in which it moves through you depends on the
emotion itself. If the emotion is triggering that wound of
not feeling like you’re enough, you may want to cry. If anger
arises, allow yourself to rage it out, in a safe way of course.
Use a pillow to scream into, or throw it on the ground a few
times. Allow yourself to experience what your body needs
to experience.
Once you’ve moved the energy of the emotion, feel into
your body. Sit up straight, let the dust settle, and feel into the
space you’ve just created inside you. Take a few deep breaths
into that space, observe. Observe the way you feel now as
opposed to before the release.
Then again, think about the scenario you had playing out or
the fear or insecurity. Is the charge of it still there? Or do you
feel a sense of clear calmness overtaking you?
In the days following, you may notice shifts in the people
you see regularly. They may respond differently to you, or
you may attract different things into your life. Everything
responds to your energy. If you have cultivated a new sense of
empowerment, you’re likely to magnetise different things
or different energies into your existence. It’s fun to witness,
like magic.”
- Chapter six: Fearless
I’ll leave you with this powerful message…
Do NOT be afraid of your fears, as it’s your attention to them that will set you free.
Be free x
I speak more deeply into overcoming fears in both You Don’t Have Anxiety & Becoming Her, both available in my bookstore and Amazon, or if you prefer to listen, find them on Audible - links below ✨
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